You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December, 2007.
I wanted to share briefly what I am working on right now. While reading books about trauma, brain development and healing I am organizing the 3rd annual conference in Iceland. It will be held again in May. It is being co-sponsord by the CPA (child protection agency) of Iceland, Reykjavík University and a few other great organizations. I was very pleased when Dr. Felitti agreed to come to Iceland to present the Ace study. I have shared on these pages how much impact learning about the Ace study had on me. All of the things that help me learn about the effects of the trauma I survived are a really good thing. It all helps me help myself. The hardest thing for me is to have compassion for myself so the more I learn the easier I am on me. This was a little side note. I have a short version of the ACE score questionare that I will post here one day.
I am just going to copy the - save the date announcement in here - so that I don´t have to type that up all over again and if you think you know of someone interested in attending or perhaps speaking (at a future conference) please do not hesitate to contact me at svavabb@gmail.com
For those who don’t know I am a co-founder for a non-profit in Iceland called Blatt afram or straight forward. www.blattafram.is english Our mission is to prevent CSA through education and awareness.
Prevention is the best way – Conference in Reykjavík – Iceland, May 15-16, 2008.
Education + discussion = Prevention
Our 3rd annual conference on child sexual abuse prevention will be held at Reykjavik University in May 2008.
The objective of the conference is to look at the ways the community can prevent the sexual abuse of children. When faced with the discussion of sexual abuse, people are often limited to their emotional responses of outrage, fear, anger and denial. We have a great responsibility as spokespeople to set a good example and discuss it openly. We do that by drawing attention to the many ways we can learn about and prevent the sexual abuse of children.
Presenters:
Shirley Paceley, trainer, counselor, author and the founder and director of Blue Tower Training Center, which provides training, consultation and resources on an international basis. She has a Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology and 33 years experience working with persons with disabilities. Shirley has received numerous awards for her work in sexual abuse prevention and intervention for persons with developmental disabilities. For more information about Shirley Paceley, go to www.bluetowertraining.com
Dr. Vincent Felitti, Physician, Department of Preventive Medicine Kaiser Permanente Medical Care Program, San Diego, California. The ACE Study is an ongoing collaboration between the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and Kaiser Permanente. Led by Co-principal Investigators Robert F. Anda, MD, MS, and Vincent J. Felitti, MD, the ACE Study is perhaps the largest scientific research study of its kind, analyzing the relationship between multiple categories of childhood trauma (ACEs), and health and behavioral outcomes later in life. For more information about Dr. Felitti, go to www.acestudy.org
Justin Berry. At 13, Justin was lured by pedophiles into sexual performances in front of a home webcam. His story was featured in a front-page article in the New York Times in December, 2005, as well as on Oprah Winfrey, the Today show, Good Morning America and numerous other programs. Justin is now 20 years old. He received the Courage in the Media Award from the International Violence, Abuse and Trauma Conference in San Diego. For more information about Justin Berry, go to http://justinberry.tv
Conference Sponsors: Government CPA, Blátt Áfram (a non-profit, child sexual abuse prevention organization), Reykjavík University, National Association of Intellectual Disabilities and more.
The complete conference schedule, once confirmed, will be available online at www.blattafram.is (English/conference). If you would like more information about the conference, participation or registration please email Svava@blattafram.is
It has been a bit since I have written on here. It is the good old resistance going on. I did manage to post a little something that I wrote just before thanksgiving. I know it is good for me to write, it is good for all of us. Great way to reflect and sometimes see something on paper that you did not know you had in you or were thinking about. Well I should only speak for me. I get hard on myself about writing, especially for strangers. I am not good enough, English not my 1st language and all that. That is not why I am writing I tell myself. It is not about that, it is for me to get in the habit of writing and getting sometimes the not so nice feelings out of me. I do use my journal for most of that. Since I have decided to start to contribute to a survivor manual, I might as well start contributing to my own blog.
The survivor manual is the idea of one amazing lady and fellow warrior Angela Shelton http://survivormanual.blogspot.com/ I have known Angela now since 2005. I have shared here somewhere on the site I think, that seeing her on Oprah gave me the courage to start a non-profit in Iceland. www.blattafram.is look for the English tab to read about it in English. I am truly honored to be considered a contributor for her blogg.
On another note, I am loving this great book I am reading about attachment. The book is called Becoming Attached, Robert Karen, Ph.D. If you had trauma in your childhood or were separated from you parents when young, this book will help you understand why you are the way you are. I was placed in a orphanage when I was 2 months until 9 months and it did have affect on me. I had no idea, but the more I learn about the brain, development, effects of trauma the more compassion I have for me. It helps me to let go of the shame I have around something being wrong with me or I must just not be so smart. I am reading many books this year about the brain, development and such and I hope to share more as I read on.
It has been a while. Life gets ahead of me sometimes. I have good intentions but not all gets done. And for me, that is a good thing. I used to use that as an opportunity to be hard on myself, really hard on myself. I plan to share what I am up-to these days. This is just a short list. Planning another conference in Iceland for may 2008, another trip there in February, a few stewards of children trainings in San Diego and Iceland (see presentations) presentations, started a year long training to lead a workshop…Working in one country while living in another is interesting, but something I am very grateful for. To do what I love to do, while living where my family wants to live, makes it the best of both worlds.
What do I have to be thankful for this year? The list is long and it feels good to put it down on paper. First of all I am very thankful for my family, my incredible husband and three beautiful children. We have been married for almost 14 years and that is a miracle. Being married to me has not been easy and I am trying to make up for the hard times now that I look back. OK, he is not perfect but the perfect man for me. The only one that could teach me how to trust men again and to know that I am worth loving. Something I struggled with for a long time.
I am really grateful and proud of myself as a mother. I think my kids are my teachers. They are amazing and so different. I can’t wait to see who they become as adults. Just today someone looked at me with my son and said how great he is, so expressive and funny. He is only four, but yes he is and I am very proud of him.
Other grateful things, I have great friendships with some amazing people. My twin sister (another hard relationship, growing up in abusive household we did not know how to relate to one another, it has been an adventure) my mother-in-law (yes my best friend, hard to believe, but if you only knew her) and of course my husband. My friend Jeanice, meeting again after 10 years apart and it feels like I have always known her. I am rekindling friendships in Iceland that feel very important to me. Friends I have known since grade school. Yes I don’t live there but every-time I am there it feels like I never left. Through my work I am getting to know some amazing people, survivors that have turned their tough lives into lessons of hope, strength, forgiveness and love.
I am thankful for the place we live in. We rent a nice house with a yard with an ocean view. I can not complain at all. It even has flowers everywhere. I knew my prayers had been answered when I saw the yard. I am not a desert person, prefer it green, and lush. So this yard is my meditation. Me and the little one go in the yard and garden when the rest of the family is at school and work.
I am thankful for my spirituality. I am learning a bit now about meditation, power of now, power of intention and the importance of taking care of me first. What I know now is that my life works better for me and everyone else around me when I take good care of me. Sounds silly to some, but feeding this body, exercising consistently and resting has been a huge challenge, hence the struggle with my husband. It is hard to let others love you when you can not love yourself. Turning this into my life’s work is what I have to do for the sake of my kids. They are watching me and doing as I do, not as I say. It has been painful to feel the shame around this issue, but I am on a mission. A mission to release my family from the shame that was handed to me. It stops with me.
I plan to spend Thanksgiving with my family or my husbands family and I am looking forward to it. I love being with them, because I get to be me, I don’t have to be anything else and at this point in my life I am done hanging out with people that don’t want to be authentic and real. It is just too much work. I respect people’s paths but I am starting to discriminate who I let into my life. I don’t have to like everyone nor does everyone have to like me.
I am happy and grateful for all the abundance that I have in my life!
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
